We here at Boeing Airlines have realized our continued recent issues and failures, and for that we sincerely apologize to any and all affected passengers and crew members.
We have decided that from this point on, we will now be changing our brand name to Boing as we upgrade all of our airplanes with spring technology. That way if any of our planes fall out of the sky, they’ll go boing boing boing…
I had overheard their first draft at a rebrand was a new slogan, “You’re Boeing to die if you blow the whistle on us”, but I guess it didn’t take off.
I’m imagining the GruWithGun.jpg meme with this slogan and I think it might just work.
Well the Comcast to Xfinity name change did make everyone forget what a shitty company Comcast was. So it could work.
I dunno, I thought fuck Comcast twice in your comment, and then once again in mine so I’m not sure it worked
I’ve been saying “Boing” for years
We’re glad to have repeat customers such as yourself. We hope you enjoy your next bouncy flight.
A true Seattlite calls them “Boeings.” The s at the end makes you sound smarter. 😉
‘Boeing Airlines’
I’m sorry to say that you’re right, we have been having trouble both flying and even rolling in lines.
That’s why we at Boing are doing extensive research into straight springs, as we have found spiral springs more likely to poke out the landing gear.
Plus straight springs should allow the plane to fly and even bounce in a safer and more predictable manner.
We will also provide slinkies for every passenger and crew member as a support harness, with the oxygen tube going through it.
We value the safety of our passengers. Please bring your own duct tape…
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Next best thing to antigravity
Listen here young’un, back in my day the only thing that would randomly fall from the sky was bird poop - and we liked it that way!
We hope you’ll enjoy our in-flight music…
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https://piped.video/watch?v=n1SGvnvMYwM
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
I feel like you will appreciate it when I say that this song was crap-tastic!:-)
I took this literally when I saw the headline cause someone was talking about the Comcast => X-finity rebrand on a podcast yesterday. But yeah, it’s a shitpost and I’m fine with that.
