• Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Long read, just kinda rambling :p

      The first guy I ‘dated’ (early in my life, closeted, neither one of us made it ‘official’) was a good first experience and stepping stone, and during that time I joined the furry fandom. I found the community very kind and welcoming, and except for fringe cases, it was what I wanted to submerge myself in, likely for life. I was (am) a massive geek, and because of that + other ‘weird’ factors, I had only a couple friends in grade+middle school, and a half-dozen in high school. But the fandom was so welcoming and non-judgemental, and compared to the hell that ‘normal’ people were to me, it was a no-brainer that I should start dating other furs. A few months into my second relationship, I made it a rule: furries only.

      I lost a few (not) friends, a clan I was a member of booted me, and a few other negative events happened in that first year or so. But all those people are, frankly, shitstains - if you cut a person you’ve known for a year+ out of your life because of an interest in anthropomorphic animals, you are a narrow-minded dumbfuck. But it was for the best - I’ve met so many great furs in the 20 years I’ve been here, and I’ve been able to speak my mind about almost any topic without fear of judgment or retribution. The vast majority are well-educated and so I geek out easily, once I get comfortable with someone new.

      While my perspective on the general public has shifted towards (but not to) the positive side of things over the last decade, I’m not really interesting in broadening my dating pool just to get attacked, harassed, belittled, or worse. Hell, I’m gay, furry, satanic, disabled - the target of many, just because of my beliefs, my body, my existing. But in the fandom, it’s not like that. It’s comfy and safe here.

      For the right person, someone who at the very least understands who I am, what I like, and why… maybe. But if they were really the right person, they’d throw on a fursuit head and come be silly and happy with me. I’m not going to be less ‘weird’, so if they aren’t at my level, they must be willing to rise to the challenge :p

      I’ve seen furs in their teens, with parents at conventions. I’ve seen grandparents and similar furs at cons, too. And of course, everywhere in between. Life is boring as fuck, and I’m far from the typical ‘normal’. So why should my dating and relationships be any different? Give me the ‘weird’, and skip the haters.

      E: and ofc this all applies to flings, too - I tend to catch feelings, so the two go hand-in-hand

      • flames5123@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Hell yea! Us furries are fun.

        I saw you said you’re satanic? Judging by being on Lemmy, do you mean TST? If so, you should check this out: https://queersatanic.com/

        TLDR: TST is run by two guys who are suing 4 former members for criticism on Facebook. They’re also suing news sites for even reporting on this. The leaders of TST are big babies that keep refiling the lawsuit to drain the defendants of money.

        • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Well that’s troubling. Yeah I’m a TST member (my username + .com gives some background, if interested) so I’ll have to keep checking on this and how it develops. Followed them on Twitter.

          • flames5123@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            Yea, I’m not a member, but I saw a queer artist in Seattle handing out these zines and skimmed it. Super bummed about it because TST seems so good work otherwise.

      • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        6 months ago

        Heyo yee. When I met my partner 14 years ago at a rave they were wearing a cat hat, and I had a fox hat and tail on. I got to know them better and realized…. They have proclivities. Then we went on a “date” that I said wasn’t a date, and they had their sketchbook in their bag. Some heady yerfing stuff… I instantly was in love. We’re married now. I wish the same experience for you.