Not even close. Mites are animals. Between your ass hair, clothing, and the square inch of horse fur, each time you fart on a horse you fart on half a million mites. And everyone who doesn’t ride horses, 99.999 percent of the population, farts on mites every time they flatulate.

Um…I wouldn’t mind her farting on me.

Too early??

Not true. My dog farts on me for more often then I fart on a horse. So for its about a billion to zero.

Title: Comparative Analysis of Flatulence Incidents Involving Horses and Dogs: An Examination of Fart Exposure Rates

Abstract: This comprehensive study investigates the fascinating phenomenon of fart exposure rates among various animal species, focusing primarily on horses and dogs as the principal subjects of interest. Through meticulous data collection and analysis, we present compelling evidence that supports the assertion that horses experience a disproportionately higher frequency of fart exposure compared to other animals, including their closest competitors: dogs. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between anatomical factors, environmental conditions, and social dynamics that contribute to these variations in fart exposure rates.

Introduction: While the topic of flatulence has often been approached with humor, this study endeavors to provide a scientific lens through which to examine the prevalence of fart exposure among animals. Horses and dogs, due to their widespread domestication and close interaction with humans, emerge as ideal subjects for this investigation. By comparing their fart exposure rates, we aim to identify potential factors that contribute to the observed differences, thereby unraveling the complexities of this underexplored facet of interspecies interactions.

Methodology: To comprehensively analyze fart exposure rates among horses, dogs, and other animals, we employed an innovative cross-sectional survey approach. Data were collected through surveys administered to veterinarians, pet owners, and animal caregivers, supplemented by direct observations of animal behavior. Participants were asked to recall and document instances of fart exposure involving various animals over a specified timeframe. The collected data were then subjected to rigorous statistical analysis to determine patterns and correlations.

Results: Our study yielded compelling evidence indicating that horses indeed experience a higher frequency of fart exposure compared to other animals, including dogs. Statistical analysis demonstrated a statistically significant difference in fart exposure rates between horses and dogs (p < 0.05). Horses were found to be subjected to fart exposure at a rate approximately 1.5 times higher than dogs, solidifying their position as the primary recipients of this phenomenon.

Discussion: The disparities in fart exposure rates between horses and dogs can be attributed to a combination of anatomical, physiological, and environmental factors. The distinct digestive systems of horses, characterized by their large gut fermenters status, likely contribute to their higher propensity for gas production. Additionally, the size and social dynamics of equine groups, along with their frequent human interaction, may heighten the likelihood of fart exposure incidents.

Conclusion: In this pioneering study, we have successfully demonstrated that horses indeed receive a greater share of fart exposure compared to dogs and other animals. The implications of these findings extend beyond humor, revealing the intricate web of factors that shape interspecies interactions and contribute to the dissemination of gaseous emissions. As we continue to unravel the mysteries of animal behavior and anatomy, a deeper understanding of fart exposure rates among different species may pave the way for more nuanced perspectives on animal welfare, social dynamics, and digestive physiology.

First of all, do you consider people animals? Cuz people definitely get farted on more than horses. Unless you’re talking like a per horse average instead of a quantity of overall farts. Secondly, my dog loves to get all snuggly on the couch and in bed. I definitely fart on my dog far more than I’ve ever farted on a horse.

Poor horses… where is PETA when you need them?

what about ass-mites?

Is that the girl from Conan The Barbarian?

Gerbils: I don’t think so

What about that fish that lives in the anus of sea cucumbers. It basically lives in a fart lair.