CloudFlared is the application you run on your server, and CloudFlare tunnels are what it connects with. You get the same outcome as a ddns but it functions differently under the hood. You also need a domain name for this I think.
DuckDNS might be a good option to start out with.
With respect for your writing, I couldn’t understand the argument against meeting people where they’re at. The wife approval factor is the tongue in cheek official benchmark for acceptance. It’s gentle wisdom that can be applied to all potential users, and I understand it to mean compromise is always needed unless your partner is also a FOSS advocate.
I love free software, but I come to it almost purely from a privacy perspective. And if privacy is the main goal, there is commercial software that doesn’t care about vacuuming up consumer data. So for some, including me, it’s only a question of risk - tolerance, appetite, and mitigation.
Admittedly I think I don’t yet understand the free software movement. My journey began with docker and self hosting some alternatives to big commercial software. There’s probably more need to explore why meeting users where they’re at is a good rule. Me as an example, I may have overlapping interests with free software but my motivations are different. Therefore the fundamental need for me to use a libre alternative to discord just isn’t there. That’s not to say I wouldn’t be able to appreciate libre more as I interacted with the software and community (regardless of the platform theyre talking on).