We pay to go to a live show. The crowd is excited to see the artist. You can feel it in the air. They appear on stage, plug in, start with a quiet but heartfelt acoustic number.
And 600 people keep their conversations going.
What. The. Hell. People?
Between songs, the artist makes polite but vague statements about how even with the PA, he can’t compete with all that noise.
They keep talking.
Grrrrrrr…
I still say it should be legal to carry a bottle of lemon juice, and a tiny squirt gun. They start singing, with their mouth wide open, singing horribly, that when you squirt them. Right in the eyes.
The only issue is that no one else will know it’s just lemon juice.
Unfortunately, we live in an awful world.
I like how lemon juice straight to the eyes is only problematic in your mind because other people might mistake it for something EVEN WORSE!
I work in contract security… I’ve been sprayed with all manner of things. had nasty ass mid-western-flavorless-potato salad thrown at me. (Dill. I spent the rest of that shift smelling like freaking dill.).
I’ve been spat at. Pissed at. (sometimes on purpose. Also. Why do drunks pissing on your wall always try to shake your hand? Also, why do FNG’s never listen when I tell them to always initiate from a reasonably safe distance…?)
I’ve also been maced. Quite frequently, actually. It’s part of training, and I’m the guy doing the training… Protip. If the attacker has been exposed to mace enough, it’s not something that’s going to stop them. We train our guards to build up that tolerance so they can work through it. otherwise it’d incapacitate the guard as much as the subject. Even if they’ve never before been exposed… if they’re determined enough, it still wont’ stop them. It’ll just make them angrier.
Suffice it to say, lemon juice just ain’t that offensive. Wouldn’t want you to get slapped with any of a dozen possible charges involved in spraying people with chemical agents. And yes, any security or LEO outfit worth their pay is going to be framing that as “unknown chemical or possibly biological agent”. until they know-for-damned-certain its not. (and that gets expensive, so, uh, you’ll be footing the bill on that, at the very least. probably also some variation of assault.)