tygerprints

Ugh not me. I’ve been through the SLC temple and it’s one horrifyingly bland white cold interior throughout. If that’s what mormons see as their ‘destiny’ in the afterlife, I’m kinda glad I’ll be roasting in hell instead. To me that kind of austerity doesn’t smack of godliness, it smacks of sterility and coldhearted lifelessness.

With the same reasoning it’s never logical to assume that things we can’t always identify or put a label on are strange or foreign or from other planets.

The most logical, and most mentally healthy mind, would first try to explore the most plausible explanations and first assume there is no miraculous visitation involved.

If a mountain springs up in the middle of the Pacific and a comic sans message pops up saying LDS is the true religion," I can guarantee it’s because the multi-billion dollar corporation called the LDS Church has put money into a new kind of marketing campaign.

And if you’re stupid enough to give that corporation 10 percent of your income, maybe you’re too stupid to be trying to solve UFO mysteries in the first place.

Actually he’s an octopus so he’s always been a lot more of a hands-on person.

Oooohkaay this is all about as slimy and gross as human communications can get.

I’m the person who, when they say the plate is hot, I always have to grab it to find out for myself. I don’t think my chances for immortality are too good.

“Pan” sexual!! GAWRF HAR HAR HAR HARRRRFFFF!!! It’s funny because it’s true.

Hmmm. I WASN’T attracted to plates until I saw this post. I wonder what would happen if I touched it with my penis.

Waiter: Sir please don’t do that in here, this is Chucky Cheese.

Me: Then why aren’t there signs saying not to do it.

Lobsterkey. Deliciously offputting and brillianty difficult to eat.

Wait I think I see two micro dots on that guys chest. Are they suggesting that men have nipples and engage in frantic hyena sex with monkeys here?? I’m appalled and offended by this image. I think this is child pornography. This is going to warp the minds of our kids. How can we ban this image from all future posts. I think this image is promoting pedophilia and naked aardvarking.

I think I’m scared enough to go hide now myself. I’m not sure I want to know what the "pinky gourd’ Thing is all about. But I’m a-scared.

Don’t hug me.

I dunno though - I think eating the Saltines themselves would be tastier than eating the sleeves, if only marginally.

Ex-ACTLY.

Yick who wants to climb up a mountain packed with shit. Why do people want to climb Everest anyway? It’s such a stupid thing to do. I can think of five million things I’d rather do than climb a frozen tundra of rock and human poop.

You’re only as tall as your total height, you know. Enjoy your own favorites and don’t waste much time not enjoying your non-favorites.

I wish I had time to reply about this.

Said no one ever: Oh JEEZ WE’RE OUTTA LUTEFISK!!

Said most probably everyone ever: YAY WE’RE FINALLY OUTTA FUCKIN’ LUTEFISK!!!

Hey, I ordered one o’ those! And it cost me $85 online!! I figured when else will i get a deal on a metal popcorn bucket with a fleshlight attachment?

But the bucket is metal so, you’ll need your light saber to make a hole for your dick in the bottom of it.

Me: Excuse me waiter, do you have crab legs? Waiter: Sir my legs are as normal as yours. Ta duh, DUM.

What about the Grinch? It’s interesting how, in the original animated special, he was creepy and gross looking, but over time he’s become this silly, wide eyed and cute little green feller.

Non-distressed calm jeans, I think I need 450 pairs. They’d go well with my calming stress reducing straight jacket.

And my little smiley face lapel button that says “I really wish I weren’t here right now.”