For an extra few months of work, you could even grow your own tomatoes and herbs, and mine your own salt.

What’s a V8?

Just rubbed some dirt in it and said a cool one liner tbh. No big deal.

I didn’t squeal in pain and run to the sink, shouting for my partner to bring tissues and plaster, and stand there holding it over the kitchen sink, saying “agh” to myself under my breath for 5 minutes because it wouldn’t stop bleeding, and they couldn’t hear me even though I could hear the smallest noises of them pottering about in the other room… I didn’t feel abandoned or alone with my pain

Its fine that it was my razor blade right?.. Right?

Definitely when I get mine. It’s a bit mad but someone must buy their Christmas stuff now for them to use up shelf space ?

Yeah, I’ve definitely not adjusted yet. So hard to wake up in the mornings haha!

Definitely some stuff going round. I’ve had a cold since Saturday and have events tomorrow and Friday evening that I don’t want to miss out on.

I managed to push a razor blade (just a loose blade, not a razor head) into the side of my right index finger tip this morning while cleaning out my bathroom bin. I think the only thing that stopped it going further was my nail.

Safe to say, having a half functional index finger on my dominant hand is making everything hard work, but I only have my self to blame for putting it in there…

My bad, friend. I totally zoned on the day.

Tuesday tantrums it is!

Damn, you’re right.

Better how?

A usurper!

Sending thoughts and prayers.

I don’t actually have anything to moan about this week, because I’m off on holiday.

I’m sitting in airport departure lounge, drinking an overpriced pint of Stella, breathing in that sweet recycled air, surrounded by people ignorant of anything but what they’re shambling towards directly in-front of them.

Zero arguments, zero stress, airport security did not steal my hair product, nor did they take a scan of my balls using their big machine.

What so you mean I sound overly sarcastic? It’s all been gravy. I’m relaxed because I’m on bloody holiday.

Have you done any sex pesting? That’s the only way to know if you used your ability on yourself.

RIP

I ended up calling 111 for mine last week. Had to take a day off of work.

Still no idea what it was.

Yeah, it’s almost like it’s a bit or something. OP must be deranged.

Yeah, that’s a really good point. A morbid one, but a good one.

Takes a month to work out the system

A whole, wait, what now!?