Fire Witch

It’s not always whole hours

Can’t wait to get $10 and six months of credit monitoring from a random settlement in 5-10 years

If I’m not mistaken, burning the shit out of coffee neutralizes some of the caffeine in it- ironically

Bacon, sausage, toast, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, and a $1 tip to whoever cleans the bathroom

Under the pillow. Right 😜🫨

Might not be a prescription, could be release forms or something like that

I mean it’s like buying a hairless cat if you’re allergic to them. Like I still want to play with a cat, I just need one that doesn’t cause issues for me due to dander.

Common misconception. Cat allergies are triggered by proteins in their bodily fluids, particularly their pee and their saliva. Cats do lick themselves a lot, and dander also contributes to it, but hairless cats are not hypoallergenic

Sincerely, a pet lover with cat allergies :(

With or without the cap?

December is queer envy month because it makes us envious when people brag about returning to their loving parents

Some NYC subway cars have double poles

They really, really don’t like you pointing out that they could just eat what they want and nobody would care, they just have to make it their public identity because they get off on being oppressed

I’m confused, is this about vegans or meat eaters?

Does it have to be human?

That whole fun idea was proposed by Manucher Ghorbanifar, an Iranian/Israeli double agent

Those would break off in 0.01 seconds

The worst is when mocktails cost as much as cocktails. Like a non alcoholic whiskey sour will be $13, Shirley Temples are like $10

At least from my experience in NYC

Yup you know the one

xkcd_927.jpg

I should apply and tell them I’m a Latin American

Not exactly the same but on New Year’s I created this monstrosity. Green food coloring, vodka, and Beast Monster with a Takis garnish, served with a side of Tums. It was absolutely noxious.

Right wingers think lactose intolerance is a leftist conspiracy