Have you been getting enough sleep? You have bags under your eyes.

Quad City DJ’s are in danger

This is why I feed blueberries to my chains

Twilight: Quantum Sparkles

Despite? If my dick and balls fell out, I’d run faster than any human ever straight to the hospital! I need those for peeing and… Having balls!

I’m nothing if not dangerously committed to incredibly bad science

Jank-ass military tech always missing their targets by using silvered back-surface mirrors

Not enough research to support this claim.

Studies seem to show that onlookers see a reflection of everyone and everything BUT the vampire without any vampire-shaped losses of light showing up on the objects behind the vampire; as evidenced in Brooks’s 1995 documentary. Also important to note is that the vampire’s shadow is also missing from the mirror’s reflection, but it’s visible when viewing the vampire directly.

From the same documentary, we learn that vampires do have shadows, but it raises doubts as to if the vampire casts a shadow of their own; this could instead be evidence that a vampire’s shadow is an entirely sentient entity somehow tied to the vampire’s corporeal form.

Based on this, I believe that we’d need more research into the existence and form of a vampire’s shadow and the possibility that the silver of a mirror wholly negates or even rejects unholy light. Before making such baseless and reckless claims, you consider how your own xenophobic and, frankly, teraphobic or demonophobic biases are likely hurting members of the inmortua community.

How does that guy with smoke coming out of his eye patch always know when I’m sneaking up on him?? At night. While he’s screaming.

You should scatter teeth on their beds

When K pops your head for the third time

*Amy Lee intensifies*

Maybe, but now the ratio is 9:11.

Fuck.

That sucks because the denominator is a prime number and therefore the fraction can’t be reduced.

No clue, but at this very moment, I’ve got 6 up and 9 down. Which is pretty epic because it means that I get 50% more negative interactions than positive ones. That sounds pretty true to life.

Oh shit! Now that you say that, I kinda realize there’s an actual shape vs broken LED matrices!

Is a cross ride like a crosswalk but for bikes or something?

Also, walk really close behind their car as to avoid jaywalking but just happen to have your keys in your hand at the time. Whoopsie-doodle!

Because of the implications

Every time I look at my microwave, I see a microwave with the correct time. I even set the clock on my hood range.

In fact, the only clock in my house with the incorrect time is the single analog clock in my house with dead batteries…

That’s why the bathrooms will show ads 24/7 and the drug safe zones will feature loot drop microtransactions. All participating companies will receive carbon credits. Time to capitalize socialism.

I see you’ve met some of my old coworkers.