“Please count to 10.”

“… um, I’ve run out of fingers.”

Sweet or dill?

I can’t remember which model it was, but wasn’t there a MacBook Pro that had 4 USB-C ports, only two of which supported Thunderbolt? Want to connect your monitor to the right side of the machine? Well… tough shit, I guess.

Got to keep a lid on the budget.

RS-23ewwwww

“Whoa, this thing is trashed, it’s basically useless now.”

Condition: Untested

Nailed it.

“Dammit kid, take the deal – we really need that cream cheese back here.”

“All right fellow rebels… now that we’ve all infiltrated the Empire by joining as Storm Troopers, it’s time to enact our plan.”

“Aim to miss, sir?”

“You’re goddamn right.”

In the grimdark future there can be no grass roots, only astroturf.

Fork.

“What-is-the-mean-ing-of-this-neg-a-tive?”

Disaster recovery? I think you mean “a good excuse to begin a new life somewhere else!”

I knew someone who like to use flat Earthism to illustrate that there’s little point in debating someone who has no interest in being persuaded. He’d basically state the Earth is flat and use every rhetorical trick in the book to defend his position, exhaust his opponent, and then say, “Could you imagine how frustrated you’d be if I actually believed any of that?” He eventually got his DDS of all things, but I thought he’d make a good lawyer.

F That Daily Mail

That’s some real fancy toilet paper!

“I can’t leave Twitter – all my followers are there.”

“I can’t leave Twitter – all the people I follow are there.”