The court granted him 33% custody of the resulting man.

fr, the KGB used to grab people off the street in less than 30 seconds while wearing suits and ties. Get together, ICE! You are an embarrassment to thugs everywhere!

Swolbraham Lincoln.

Or we live in a fully deterministic universe and I’m being flung through it against my will.

At this point, twitter fights are slime-on-slime violence.

Not until we’re married, anyway.

You could say it was a time of gargoyles.

Ew, we know that hand’s been 🤮

Red beans and rice is a good dish that will give you vital protein.

“Would you like to call an UberAmbulance?”

The Seal of Unsubstantiated Claims

It’s supposed to be a “kinky boot.” People always leave that first part out.

Just one vertebrae of it, but yes.

Close, it’s my mother wearing a sweater in heaven.

A tree, you say? Interesting… how about this one:

Mr. Pills assures me that you are very talented and sane.

He’s gonna get the juice everywhere though!

I was hoping this would be some one I knew, but it looks like she didn’t turnip.

Sounds like you could use a comforter.

I don’t wear shoes in my own home. If I’m visiting your home, I’ll follow your rules – but tell me before I head over so I know if I need to wear my good socks.