I appreciate your perspective on this as I have similar feelings/experiences, starting in middle school I didn’t have 1 friend who was a girl for the same reason as you. I wouldn’t worry about what’s “worse,” one or the other they’re both terrible experiences, and I’m sorry you had to go through it.
You are correct, hexbear did defederate from sh.itjust.works about a week after federating with them, so the vote became moot.
The reason you gave is part of the reason hexbear admins gave, but I would take what they say with a grain of salt. I’ve seen people say things like “being trans in thoughts is a much different experiece than being trans in the way you dress, act, and look” and hexbear users will call that transphobic/uninclusive, as well as generally being vitriolic and unpleasant.
As an example, a post where someone says “Biden brings up minimum wage increase and asks other democrats to speak up” will have several comments from hexbear users saying “capitalist bootlickers defending Biden should be shot like the vermin they are.” Maybe some users harassed hexbear users for these comments? I personally didn’t see any but it’s definitely possible.
Actually, there was a vote immediately after the defederation to see whether people wanted lemmygrad refederated, and about 80-90% of the votes were to stay defederated, so it seems the users of sh.itjust.works also don’t like grad.
edit: my mistake, turns out it was hexbear that was voted on, which has similar content
https://ibb.co/pvk0HWv https://ibb.co/bsPRfyZ https://ibb.co/0Mxd8rr You were being a smartass and then got one-guyed. The community on lemmy seems generally positive with a few crazies, just like everywhere.
Look in that thread and there are plenty of people who ask “how will youtube keep the servers up without ads though?” with reasonable responses such as: torrent-esque video sharing people donating to creators and youtube taking a cut or reasonable issues like: ads cause me a lot of stress and I am not wealthy, does this mean I can never watch a video again? Or read an article or see any online content? Not wanting to support billion dollar megacorps
Getting responded to in kind by 1 guy is not a toxic community, everywhere I’ve seen people ask a question in a normal way 99% of the time they get normal responses
sadly if you try to be a good landlord and make a slim margin, you’ll get dumped a huge repair bill/tax increase/other expense and now you’re running the appartment at a loss. At that point you either sell it to a company willing to exploit it or you have to be less nice to your tenants and ignore repairs or charge more. Most people choose the first which is why we end up with terrible landlords.
aside: heard someone in that exact situation running low income housing, on a phone call with an expert talking to the government. The expert said “any prudent management would raise the rents the maximum allowed amount”
along with other replies generally you become more gullible/less able to think of alternative explanations as you age, so even some “obvious” scams look legit
Here’s the best summary I could come up with for this meme: “The”
Hopefully people see this and stop posting ragebait 🙏