I’m a Satanist, but I fuck with based Jesus.

Hope y’all like avant garde blackened death jazz.

Bullshit, that’s some shwag. Hit me up, I got that cage free.

Where there’s a hole, there’s a goal vole.

Are you insinuating that I’m a baby because I believe that mothers and fathers both deserve the same level of accomodation in regards to caring for their children in public spaces? I sure hope that’s not what you’re insinuating, because that would make you a cunt. You don’t want to be a cunt, do you?

I’ve been known to go into the women’s room to change a diaper when the men’s room doesn’t have a changing table. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s supremely irritating to me as a dad.

Counterpoint: yes.

Annoying sounds should be the least of your worries about Roblox. That game is a cess pool of porn and Nazi shit. My kids aren’t allowed to know it exists, let alone play it.

That erases any fun there is to be had. I want them to know it.

The language barrier mostly.

I’m more of a “well, shit” guy myself.

Good for you, Bono. This fucker had it coming no matter how you slice it.

I’ve had a similar smile on my face all day.

This man is an agent of justice. The murderer is dead.

I wouldn’t call it violence, I would call it a justified use of force.

Let’s see some receipts, Columbo.

Autism is liking things.

There’s probably some wisdom in that, but unfortunately I can’t see it because my human experience sucks.

They just hit the second tower.