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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • iknowitwheniseeit@lemmynsfw.comtomemes@lemmy.worldEvery. Time.
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    27 days ago

    Jerry: “Aren’t you going to see what the message is?”

    George: “Nah.”

    Kramer: “Why not? It could be important!”

    Jerry: “It’s not like you to ignore a message…”

    George: “Okay, okay! I’ll tell you. I was sitting at home.”

    Jerry: “Doing what?”

    George: “Nothing.”

    Kramer: “Oh yeah! I love doing nothing! I love it!”

    Jerry: “Nothing? Sounds boring.”

    George: “Spoken like an amateur. I have it down to an art.”

    Kramer: “We should compare notes!”

    Jerry: “Anyway, then what happened?”

    George: “I get a text from this girl I had lunch with.”

    Jerry: “Lunch? Like a date? A” lunch date?"

    George: “I don’t know, I don’t know! How can you know? Who suggests lunch when someone asks them out? I don’t know, but she did!”

    Kramer: “Yikes!”

    Jerry: “Okay, so you get this text message.”

    George: “That’s right.”

    Jerry: “From the lunch maybe date maybe not woman.”

    George: “That’s right.”

    Jerry: “What does it say?”

    George: “What are you doing?”

    Jerry: “I’m asking what the message said!”

    George: “I know! The message said, ‘What are you doing?’”

    Jerry: “Ooooo. Okay. And?”

    George: “So I sent her a reply, that said ‘nothing’.”

    Kramer: “Classic mistake.”

    George: “Well I wish I had known! How am I supposed to know?!”

    Jerry: “I don’t get it. What’s the mistake?”

    George: “After I told her that I wasn’t doing anything, she called me!”

    Jerry: “On the phone? What for?”

    George: “To talk!”

    Jerry: “About what?”

    George: “Nothing! I wanted to do nothing, not talk about nothing!”

    Kramer: “You got yourself a phone talker.”

    George: “A phone talker!”

    Jerry: “Seems like it. So what are you going to do?”

    George: “What can I do? I’m going to have to tell her talking on the phone causes me migraines. It’s the only way…”

    Kramer and George leave. Jerry sees a message from Elaine that says, “What are you doing?” He puts the phone down.




  • iknowitwheniseeit@lemmynsfw.comtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldBr*t*sh
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    2 months ago

    The Scots are a violent, savage people. I was attacked there and beaten, and everyone I met on the rest of my week stay regaled me with stories of people they knew who had been similarly brutalized. “Oh yeah my sister got a kicking last week.” “My mate Barry tried to pull some geezers off a bird and then she helped them give him a kicking!” And on and on. Amazingly even more vicious than the English, which hardly seemed possible.



  • The first rule of Christianity is, “I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”

    There is no probation against killing in general in Christianity, only murder, which makes an appearance as the 5th commandment. Murder being unlawful and/or unjustified killing, so clearly wartime killing is a-okay in Christianity.

    Now, you could argue that “love thy neighbor as thyself” might implicitly forbid killing, but if you start looking to Christianity for morality or even simple consistency you’re going to have a bad time.










  • iknowitwheniseeit@lemmynsfw.comtomemes@lemmy.worldso true
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    5 months ago

    Here me out please.

    Throughout most of the time humans existed we lived a migratory existence. It is only with the adoption of agriculture that staying in one place sense made sense.

    Now here we are, with like 2% of our population involved with agriculture and still living that way.

    We should all migrate like birds and stay in cooler climes during summer and warmer climes in the winter.

    Obviously this is a huge change, but we can do it!