ettyblatant

Girlfriend:

[X] eats hot chip

[X] lie

…WHAT

I am embarrassed to say that I like thin crust papa johns, but only if it’s cold…? Although, I’ve only eaten it while hungover, so it’s obviously a crap “pizza” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s 100% true. Same with frozen. Sometimes I just want some air fried digornos, not anything that was made with love shudder

It’s best for everyone that we just accept that they are two different pizza concepts, and should not be ranked between each other.

“once one senses Trouble Gut, they must accept and nurture Trouble Butt…”

Penis.

*Penis

OMG *PENIS

Periscopin’ that they gon’ catch me jibin’ dirty

Lockheed Martin: JEEZ NASA it was just the ONE time!!!

1-800-CALLCOLLECT “imatthemallatboscospickmeup” and then get your dime back

Tbf, where and when I grew up (USA, 1980s-1990s), it seems like at least 90% of people taking pictures said “ok everybody say cheese!”, including school photographers/sears photographers etc. I think it was so common because they were limited takes of tangible negatives, so “say cheese!” improved the chances of getting a smiling picture

I had a rock once that thought it was fertilized, but it wasn’t truly. That was a very gloomy prom.

Same here for most of the above, but I would like to suggest something I do often with random obligatory attendances. Every time you’re bored at the party, say your tummy is acting strange. Free pass to go to the bathroom to fuck around on your phone whenever you want. Nobody wants to talk about yr poops. You might owe your partner an explanation, but you can follow your heart on that.

deleted by creator

Not to be rude, but it’s actually “play it by ear”. I’m trying to come up with something witty to say, but I’m dropping a blank.

deleted by creator

This information is pretty key. I assumed they were in Richmond from the picture.

deleted by creator

My most hilarious and embarrassing story has an element in it that involves seeing my friend get knocked out by his father in front of my mom and brother. The kid was 15 and was in trouble for breaking landscaping bricks at a local park.

The hilarious story happens right after that, when 11 year old me got violently pantsed by bike handlebars in front of a man driving by and now I am realizing that the whole thing is traumatic :(