PUT THE LOTION IN THE FUCKING BASKET

“This leash demeans us both”

44 years old. I pulled an abdominal muscle just by stretching the wrong way when I woke up.

I had a friend who edited the .jpeg or whatever in the shutdown sequence to say “it is NOT safe to shut off your computer” and waited for his family to freak out.

Moss, how many times have I told you to shave those sideburns?!

That’s horrifying.