alaphic

I mean, I can see what they were going for here, sure… But this probably had to have - what - likev a half dozen or so (allegedly ⁷functioning) adults review all of this, likely discuss it amongst themselves to boot… Anyway, all of that and still - yadda yadda yadda - we make it through all of that without a single motherfucker being like, “So, ya don’t think the name will attract any… undesirable elements for a care center or anything like that?”

Hey, hey, hey… That’s fucked up; you can’t just call someone a ‘genocider’ lile thaf…

It’s genocid*-ist*

Plus, as an added bonus, you don’t need a flashlight ever again because of the pale green glow you emit afterwards.

Source: Every cartoon from my childhood

People be like: “Just try to think of the last time you were happy and…”

And I’m just over here thinking: “I remember being happy once… It was 1996. I was nine.”

Just think of all the energy you’d have! 🤯

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

And now, as an added bonus, this is pretty much just the overall vibe of the US in general too

I want off Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

Look, I didn’t want to have to be the one to say this, but since no one else is apparently going to: That toddler looks rough af bro… I mean, basically like a nearly grown ass man.

Hopefully they land on their face and you can get it some of that sweet, sweet reconstructive surgery so it isn’t fuck ugly all its life.

Obviously, you look fine and stuff tho, OP. Don’t consider my words a poor reflection upon your semen/egg quality. I’m sure they get it from their other parent. Now, let’s move on before anyone points out that, best case scenario, I’ve now creepy ass things

Bro, carrots to chicken? Really? You literally had anything to anything to choose from here - while attempting to literally one-up a god, mind - sky’s the limit and everything, and that’s what you settle on?

Not rocks into gold, sand into heroin, water into a 40 year old scotch, pee into milkshakes; nah, that’d be fuckin lame compared to carrots into motherfuckin chicken! I mean, I get it, kinda, cuz I’m not into carrots and would prefer chicken in its place 100% of the time, but… I’m just sayin, compared to some of the possibilities that’s like mid at best, prolly more like a sidegrade if we’re being honest.

Oooh, every other flavor Starburst into pink! Boom. Talk about unlimited cosmic power

This is the comment I came here for

Yes.

Ping me yourself, you coward!

Obviously not, you’re pretty clearly a ninja (i think lol). Also, I’m not gonna lie, this kinda fascinates me because science, but I also have a low key medical phobia kinda thing so it squicks me out a little at the same time lol. My SO is actually a scientist as well (not medical/bio, tho, thankfully lol she’s an environmental scientist) and I love it when she talks sci to me 😂🤣 so I even recognize like all of the words you used and everything

release hemoglobin for direct measurement

This sounds like a really pretty way of saying “stabbing someone” at first brush, tbh lol

I’m just gonna drop this right here…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGBrdr5Ghn8&pp=0gcJCdgAo7VqN5tD

Now this

This is chef’s kiss

Someone did something and, predictably, someone else bitched about it because reasons. Or something. Probably?

Now do something from Mastadon

Yeah, I’d expect that kinda petty jealousy from a hippo

What are you doing step spirirt