The ‘let the kid touch the hot stove’ approach.

It worked on me, but I fear other people might nurse their burns and pray that next time things will be different.My experience is different. It’s a dense urban grocer. Now that you mention it, I’ve been to Target in the suburbs where SCO was like thunder dome. A little more room for bagging, but not much. I feel so bad for the one team member dashing around checking IDs and explaining why coupons from a decade ago no longer work.

My location (different grocer ) may be privileged, because, even when it’s slow, there are two full service registers. I remember how gross it felt watching a checker at Walmart in 02 also bag the groceries because baggers didn’t exist any more.

Just do like me and replay a Homestarrunner cartoon while waiting in line. Then reference it like the 18 year old at check out knows what the crap you are talking about.

‘I’m sorry, Mergetrude, can you halp an old master gather his particles…?’

Hate to break this to you, but you are on the QTEE list and everyone is looking at your picture while they get coffee in the morning in the break room.

But we love it when you visit… (Camera cranes in for an unrequited hug.)

I have witnessed far to many people with full carts que into the self check out, and than they get frustrated when every other thing they scan throws a flag.

Bitch, SCO is for 10 items or less!

I remind my currently 20 something nephew how he would cry crinkly crocodile tears if he wasn’t given a dose of Talking Tom.

Alternately, a spritz bottle with a few meters of range loaded with cheap Cheyenne/ hot pepper powder water might keep them at bay?

I’m not a local. Pissed off spicy monkeys might need an unfortunate result.

I want this, but with an irrationally large Evil Dead esque cellar, for my hobbies.

‘Is Butterbean OK?’ -Johnny Knoxville

They ate themselves alive.

Easy clean up.

They’ll probably start collecting rainbow bracelets off of people they beat up as trophies.

You never see someone taking a shit while running at full speed. -George Carlin

Yeah, somebody hasn’t refreshed their browser since 2010.

Using Augusten Burroughs for their marketing was their first mistake.

I’ve got nothing to hide ;)…

Had TSA take me aside and X-ray my laptop for a good 20 minutes last time I flew.

To be fair, the laptop had a sticker that insinuated drug use, but it’s not like I had hidden a thousand doses of Mega LSD under the SSD (which it really looked like they were scanning for).

I imagine they asked you to power the baby off and on whilst they hid behind a blast shield.

Is it odd that a patient exists to assuage therapists?

I, personally, would ruin this method. I usually end up massaging my therapists and there really isn’t a slot to explain that on the insurance forms.