• 0 Posts
  • 12 Comments
Joined 1 month ago
Cake day: June 18th, 2026
  • Stinkywizzleteats@piefed.socialtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•so many guys, so many options😳English
    8·
    7 days ago

    I’m an IT guy and the algorithm is definitely pushing for profit. I know it’s all manufactured struggle. I just need to find some way to interact with strangers that’s socially acceptable. I don’t drink so… yeah I’m not going to be the sober guy at a bar picking up drink women. could you imagine the optics of that!? I can’t approach them in public at all either anymore. I used you give girls funny “business cards” that had my info on it so we could talk if that wanted to. that shit worked like magic. I would never do that now because I’d eventually become a post about being pathetic by a clout chaser. I don’t need my contact info on the internet for everyone to see.

  • Stinkywizzleteats@piefed.socialtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•so many guys, so many options😳English
    11·
    7 days ago

    my friends group was mostly girls in my 20s until I got into my last relationship. so I’m definitely not one of those guys. I’m also the son of a single mom special ed teacher and I had a sister (who unfortunately died of an overdose). women’s issues are ingrained in the fabric of my childhood. if I can get girls to talk to me I get a relationship or a friendship. I’ve never had anyone cast me out of their life so I know I’m someone people want to be around.

    the no girls my age thing is real. I don’t want kids so that cuts out most girls my age that do show up. I live like 30min from a major metropolitan area but it’s in the south so it’s a lot of religious conservatives. we don’t mesh. the girls I see that would be a fit never respond. I know I’m attractive because I had a Myspace fanclub. that’s how I found out my ex was in to me. I’m no Henry Cavill but I don’t hurt to look at.

    all the girls that were in my life are married or I lost contact. I’m not messaging a married woman out of the blue to review my dating profile. my family also has a problem with only being positive so there will be absolutely no constructive criticism from them no matter how hard they try. it’s like a disease in my family. the internet has also done a number on me. my ex-cheated on me with a married man who had a pregnant wife back in 2017, I found out in 2021. having someone do that then going on the internet and seeing all the hate towards men really did a number on my confidence. I’ve been nothing but a good person and now I’m viewed as a defacto danger unless someone vouches for me. my fears come from a real place. I’m not imagining all of this and that fear isn’t an “incel” thing. I guess technically I’m an incel. also therapy can only get you so far. I need the community around me to corroborate the positive things I’m being told and there is a disconnect.

    I think I just need to start speed dating so that I can actually interact with people. I got jokes and personality. all the good pictures of me doing fun things have my ex in them because we were together for 15 years. so my dating profile pictures are selfies, pictures of me and my pets, and pictures of me being a cute kid. you would figure being a progressive empathetic person would get you at least one match but I guess not.

    also I don’t just swipe right on everyone so this is also a preference thing. we both have to match to talk to each other so it’s a mutual thing. I probably have a bunch of girls on these apps attracted to me that I’m not attracted to. they are probably going through the same feelings I’m going through.

    it’s definitely not a “women bad” situation and i refuse to lower my filter. I’m not dating a MAGAt just to be in a relationship and I’m not going to parent anyones kids.

    I’m going to keep trying though and one day I’ll find my diamond. we will watch cartoons on Saturday mornings and shower each other with snuggs and hugs.

  • Stinkywizzleteats@piefed.socialtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•so many guys, so many options😳English
    47·
    7 days ago

    the worst part about dating apps is you can be as charming and attractive as you want, if you don’t pay no one will see you. pictures of me and my pets being adorable should have at least gotten me one cat lady but it was like I was in another universe by myself. bumble will give you the same 2-3 “matches” within 48 hours that you can’t see unless you pay.

    I’m an elder millennial and I remember when I could give a girl my number, tell her I think she’s pretty and want to chat, then walk away. it was successful because it’s non-intrusive. I didn’t stand around to press them. they knew what I looked like and the ball was in their court to decide what they wanted to do. how do we get back to that? I’m terrified of becoming an internet post now if I approach someone.

    my ex cheated on me with a married man who had a pregnant wife and she is thriving even though she can’t keep a relationship. she just goes on these apps and it happens with no effort. meanwhile Im progressive, have a good job, own property, financially stable, I adore my family and pets, I’m traditionally attractive, and it’s freaking crickets unless I pay. a relationship cant be founded like that. I’m not paying for a partner. I want to be desired because I exist as I am.

    at least I get to make a cuddle puddle with my cats and dog every day so my heart is full.

    to any other dudes struggling I’m with you, I can’t help, but you aren’t alone. just keep being good people. that won’t help you find anyone but at least you can say you aren’t garbage.