9:07am and tell me to return 15 minutes after and I’d be pulling out my phone every 5 seconds and doing math.

Is it really so hard to add 15?

Not to mention they’re worse at keeping time.

You know, like the whole point of a watch.

Did you eat it raw? Or like …how did you notice it was warm? Usually eggs get pretty hot when they’re cooked.

Good grief I sure hope whoever designed those knows what pi is

Wanna be my roommate?

It really is the same energy

You can only steal investor money if you’re already rich and the investment is coming from the government.

We want them both at the same time. We want to be winners, but we imagine that if we were, we would be fair, thereby creating a utopia.

People associate those words with their fantasies, not with the ideological tenets that actually define them.

Neat.

I like to call a singular piece of trivia a trivion.

Owner. It’s what the owner is taking, and usually they’re working way less than everyone else.

The oil painting filter in gimp would do this in about one second.

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And they had these weird things that were like a bunch of pages stuck together … Oh yeah, books!

I appreciate that you’re able to read an opinion and simply provide your own, without being personally offended and feeling a need to assert your perceived moral righteousness.

I wish you the best of luck in finding a bearded bald dude that you like.

What’s weirder, a bowling ball, or a bowling ball with a beard

Bald with a huge beard is such a weird look. Big compensation vibes.

Why are dildos so commonly purple?

The target being the executives who will approve the marketer’s work.

Suggesting molasses as an alternative for honey lmao