It’s only a matter of time before it’s not an option anymore. Every shitty new behavior they put in is an easy-to-use option at first, then a registry setting or policy, then even that goes away and it gets baked in.

From the hovertext: “I wrote 20 short programs in Python yesterday. It was wonderful. Perl, I’m leaving you.”

After years of a dozen other languages, I finally tried Perl the other day.

Never again, if I can help it.

If you read the fine print, many “lifetime” warranties are like this too. They mean the “lifetime of the product” which is usually defined in the same fine print as like, 5 years or some other bullshit timespan.

Alternate ending:

A small, innocuous looking bat takes the form of DRACULA behind CHARACTER 1 and CHARACTER 2

DRACULA: Why the fuck would I need a jetpack? How did you morons forget about the bat thing? It’s been part of my image for like, a hundred years.

Thanks for the insight - jump humping and soaking sound like the kind of bullshit my parents would believe because it was featured in some local news story.

Most “teen trends”, especially those related to sex, are just wildly blown out of proportion “stories” based on a couple of people trying something weird, someone else hearing about it, and now suddenly all the teens are doing it.

It reminds me of being in high school when my mom asked me if my girlfriend’s jelly bracelets were a sex thing because she heard about girls owing sex acts to guys who can break one.