Well damn. Thank you for that.

? What?

False.

What child would have access to that much peanut-butter? If they had access to that much peanut-butter, which I believe that we can all agree is an irresponsible amount of peanut-butter, then this is just a natural consequence.

This feels more like a blue-collar prank.

Source: As a low-wage EMT we covered a coworker’s Jeep in butter and tortillas one night because why not.

America is the dumbest fucking country.