I say this as an autist who used to fucking loathe talking on the phone: Its that the phone takes up too much mental energy and time, yet has a time limit on your own responses. Its hellishly stressful when you are socially incompetent, and now a lot of even non-autistic people are becoming socially incompetent.

Now its funny, I hated phone calls back when everyone liked them. Now I’m pretty OK at them because I worked at a call center for a year and now it seems like everyone now hates phone calls. I kinda recognize that the one nice thing about phone calls is there is no “set up your account before ordering your food” type bullshit. There is a consistency to phone calls.

I want a hug.

I don’t know that I agree that you have to but sure that’s not an unreasonable policy either. I guess it depends on the specifics for me.

Assuming we’re talking about a friend/acquaintance, a person can be genuinely sorry but sort of be too dim to meaningfully improve their behavior. That said, if they don’t at least give a good faith effort to improve then my patience will wear thin and I’ll probably want to be around them as little as possible, even if I end up ultimately forgiving them on the emotional side of things.