i bought a jar of olives at the store yesterday for this exact purpose

olives > cooked meal

Shit is just sitting there waiting to be invaded. I bet I could take it all by myself

my autism has been slowly declining my entire life, so i gotta do something drastic if i’m gonna get those uncle sam bux. i’m gonna have to start memorizing movie release dates again. haven’t done that in like 25 years

Nothing is more based than walking into a Home Depot and shitting in one of the toilets

download the ollama cli. then do ollama run dolphin-mixtral

It’s fine, I use chrome all the time and it works

trading bottle caps is lucrative af, think of all the bottle caps you could earn

Whoever this “Jerry” is, he needs our help, he may not be sick now, but if he keeps it up he will be

which is total bullshit btw. typical neolib insanity. mcdonalds fries are the best

they changed several words. the original T-shirt is “Fuck McDonalds | Burger King’s Fries Are Much Better”

oh shit i gotta warn everybody about 9/11

our ancestors never could have imagined the horrors of having a middle seat on a plane. there isn’t any room for you to manspread, and manspreading is by far the most comfortable way to sit. when i don’t manspread i feel like i can’t breathe

so true. if you walk up to me in the middle of the night and ask me if i will have sex with you, i’ll probably say yes

from now on he’s gona be concerned, making texts like “hi son, have you had your daily cock yet?”

TIL it’s 2018

hang on let me check my frog folder

i have 684 frogs in my frog folder

i dunno man if you turn off the news and only look at headlines occasionally, the world doesn’t seem like it’s falling apart. i mean it definitely is, but from where you’re standing everything seems fine. works for me

neil “the grass” tyson

when i was growing up i only knew lynyrd skynyrd as a good thing to play in hangman. but you can only do it once, after that they’re gonna be like “is this that band that doesn’t have vowels again?”

know what’s extra hard? those common words that are like a verb + a preposition like “find out”. i convince myself that the preposition i’m thinking of is wrong