TomMasz

I truly laughed out loud at this one. Thanks!

That hat alone would merit a paddlin’.

Even a single child under 5 is a bit much for a single Cockatiel.

Like infinity, there are different "everything"s.

Stob or I’ll chooo!

All you have to do is remember where you put the box of miscellaneous Allen wrenches, and then go through them in hopes of finding the right one.

At my age, it’s lead and microplastics. It’s a miracle I’m as healthy as I am.

I can certainly trust that those are indeed long yellow things.

I remember being at a party where the host had a bar in the basement. On the bar was a jar of Vienna Saugages, completely untouched. I mentioned it, and he said to look at the ingredient list. Listed first was “beef lips”. There’s more than electrolytes in that liquid.

Non-English-speaking package designer.

There’s something about them that seems off but not too off, at least until you zoom in. Then the horror begins.

Oh, look at Mr. Bigbucks with his fancy kerning. Poor companies can’t afford such luxuries.

Everybody loved the Big Man, but not as much as Bruce did.

Glad I got the to see the E Street Band when he was still around.

I had all four of mine removed at once in the hospital, versus two at a time in the dentist’s office. They hadn’t broken the gums yet, which meant they’d have to do more than just pull them.

It was the right decision for me.

Why do the ladies at church know this?

Just do what the nice earwig says.

Honey, what’s wrong? You haven’t touched your boobkies.

There’s a reason for everything. Sometimes that reason is “I don’t give fuck.”

How much money are they saving by eliminating so many letters?

Put this in the dictionary alongside the definition of Wrong.