So ibuprofen and acetaminophen are weak ass pain killers that do all the damage of alcohol with none of the fun.

As far as my ancestors were concerned I’m supposed to be drunk, chewing willow and maybe having a bit of opium for nap time.

A lovely cocktail of body odor, various chemicals from the shop, as well as many chemicals brought from home by the employees.

Stop pissing you degenerate. Its disgusting how much water people drink these days just so they can piss.

TIL senator > daddy

No fuck yuWu

While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say “poop poop” then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.

Noooooo, not the twink link

Edit: Kirby do got that mouf tho…

Hey, you better take this meme and throw it in the fucking trash. Harambe was a gentle and kind soul. Gorilla was his final incarnation and his soul now rests in nirvana.

I’ve had a surprising amount of success just walking in/past security.

Java feels like McDonald’s and python feels like a grocery store.

Rust feels like a femboi hooters where they offer IVs you don’t think they’re qualified to administer.

I’m on the brink of collapse so I eat crab Rangoon.

(jk I can’t afford crab rangoon)

Had one that was supercharged and AWD. Awesome for rally, drifted so nicely with the engine low in the center. Rolled it once, didn’t even break the big windows, and drove it home. Couple years later it caught fire and the person who I left it with has probably scrapped it.

Edit: I rolled it because I went off a cliff, not because it highsided in a drift, it stayed flatter than a stock impreza.

Let’s go live to one of those dumb nerds: Jeffrey, tell us why you keep finding new weird nerd shit? Isn’t there enough nerd shit already and wouldn’t you rather be getting laid?

I must have some intolerance, whenever I eat hotwheels they come out the same way they went in. Same with Nerf darts. Its cool that I get to play with them again tho.

I loved you

God help me if I live in some commie zone where they take my amputated body parts to give to everyone. I grew those and they’re mine! Fuck your science, I wanna eat my foot.

:)

This is my A E S T H E T I C

:(